Hosted by Hulk Hogan & Laila Ali
MEN’S MATCH: "Spider Monkey" Molivann Duy w/ fake hyperactivity vs. "14-years-of-waiting" Jeff Keller
WOMEN’S MATCH: Shanay Norvell vs. Bonnie Blanco w/ Ric Flair's forehead
Men’s Event #1 – Gauntlet
Gladiators: Wolf, Toa, Titan & Justice
Scores: Jeff 8 - Molivann 6
What's up with the men going on first? Didn't the producers take note of Hogan's "now it is time to get serious because the guys are up!" line from the previous ep? Seriously, this is giving me flashbacks to Wrestlemania 5 when Randy Savage came out first, despite being champion.
I know how I previously said that the audience don't give a crap about the contestants life story, but I gotta admit I did feel for Jeff and believed it when he said he had waited 14 years for this opportunity and it actuality made me root for the guy because of it. Compared to all the other contestant's trash-talking, he seemed very genuine.
Really dug the audience packing the sides visual for this one, The mics on the glads was also a pretty neat addition... Didn't like the two points per gladiator rule though, I prefer the "all or nothing" rule from the original.
Women’s Event #1 – Gauntlet
Gladiators: Venom, Siren, Fury & Hellga w/ penis
Scores: Bonnie 10 - Shanay 10
Seriously though, how much testosterone did Helga inject in herself? Both contestants JUST about complete the Gauntlet.
Men’s Event #2 – Joust
Scores: Jeff 10 - Molivann 10
Mayhem took about 10 total seconds before stepping on the other guy’s platform TWICE, automatically disqualifying himself, and after the second time, shoved Jeff into the water for no reason. Dude, just because you suck, don’t play dirty.
Women’s Event #2 – The Wall
Gladiators: Venom & Stealth
Scores: Bonnie 10 - Shanay 5
Liked the shorter head start for the wall. Bonnie reaches the top fairly easily, and Shanay BARELY makes it up there with one second to spare.
Men’s Event #3 – Assault
Scores: Jeff 2 - Molivann 2
This event is just way too hard now: the contestants have to run a good distance to get to each station, have to find ammunition in the sand, set smoke screens, and fire some bazooka that looks more complicated than actual military weaponry... all within a time limit! Did they even explain this event to the contestants?
Women’s Event #3 – Hang Tough
Scores: Bonnie 5 - Shanay 10
HAHA, Fury being owned was priceless! Shanay just pushed her off!
Men’s Event #4 – Pyramid
Gladiators: Wolf & Titan
Scores: Jeff 0 - Molivann 0
Wow, Titan is really wooden, but he made a great showing here. I hate the fact that they get extra camera time to do their stupid catch phrases, but I also like the fact that they're not continuing the gimmick and giving the contestants an "atta boy" when the gladiators lose to them. Biggest markout moment of the show so far came when Wolf did a SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB on Jeff. It's worth watching just for that moment.
Women’s Event #4 – Hit & Run
Gladiators: Stealth, Crush, Siren & Fury
Scores: Bonnie 0 - Shanay 2
Both contenders don't fare too well and quickly get knocked off.
Men’s Event #5 – Eliminator
Winner: Molivann – 2:13
When Moli overtook Jeff, he did the Joust victory dance, HAHA! Go Spider Monkey!!! Jeff was completely gassed.
Another thing about the eliminator: It's just way tooooo long and it gets kinda boring in parts, especially when the contenders look like they're barely moving. I think they should get rid of the water aspect completely. Sure it looks cool that they are swimming under fire but it ruins the rest of the event. Not to mention that the rolling log and the hand bike are great obstacles, but they just don't function after your whole body is soaking wet.
Hulk has also managed to use the word “brother” more times in one sentence than anyone ever before — “One hell of a man, brother, you gave it your all brother, but unfortunately, brother, your quest has come to an end. What was the toughest part, brother?”
Women’s Event #5 - Eliminator
Winner: Shanay – 2:22
Bonnie bladed hardway, but still made a good showing here and almost won the thing.
Final Thoughts: I know how I said I wanted Jeff to win, but Spider Monkey kinda won me over with his victory dance at the end. I'm pulling for Spider Monkey to win the whole thing. Mainly because I want to see a 150lbs Gladiator for next season, unless of course this season produces a Wesley Berry prototype then I'll be rooting for him.
I was hoping Bonnie would win just because she showed great resilience in the eliminator after the possible concussion, but Shanay was just as equally good as her, so no biggie.