Lex Luger had a health scare on Friday night. He was rushed to the hospital and on the way there people heard him saying that he couldn't feel his hands. We got reports that he'd suffered a stroke and was paralyzed from the waist down (which is not usually what happens in a stroke, it's usually the right or left side of the body), and the report that it was more likely a heart attack. He was taken to Stanford Hospital and the doctors came to the conclusion that he had not actually suffered a heart attack or stroke. He was feeling better and asked for all of his stuff to be taken to the hospital. It was later determined that he'd suffered a nerve impingement in his back, perhaps as the result of an infection, and this is what caused all of his issues.

Obviously, his motorized wheelchair will be The Lex Express 2.

Apparently Karen Angle "made a spectacle of herself" at a party thrown by Spike TV to celebrate the first two hour iMPACT tapings last month. Whatever Karen did, it made some people in TNA look at the Angle family in a different light. It was previously reported that Pacman Jones was "making it rain" with money at the same party.

Damn, I'd make it rain all over Karen Angle.

Kristal Marshal Fired.

Kristal Marshal's release. Due to the nature of the Teddy Long storyline, where Marshal had left TV to be with Teddy, neither her nor WWE have acknowledged her release. The original storyline plan was that Vickie Guerrero would have been behind the Teddy Long heart attack, as a way to become the heel general manager of Smackdown. That plan was then changed, and the new plan for the angle with Teddy Long was that it would be revealed that Edge had put Kristal up to seducing Long to get him out of the picture on Smackdown, as revenge for Long stripping Edge of the World Heavyweight Championship when Edge was injured. Edge and Marshal would then become a retread of Edge and Lita from Raw, with Marshal becoming a much more sexual character. Marshal was very against the idea for a number of reasons, mainly the sexuality of it. She is currently dating Raw superstar Bobby Lashley, and the two of them had both been pushing for Kristal to be moved to Raw so they could be together. WWE was not in favor of this, and decided that if she wasn't going to "play ball" with them on the Edge storyline, then there were plenty of divas who would and she was then released. No word on how Lashley is reacting to this release.

What the hell is going on in WWE lately? It seems to be turning into fucking High School there. First that Krissy Vaine chick quits because she didn't want to be separated from her boyfriend, and now Krystal doesn't want to do a high profile storyline because she wants to travel with Lashley? This kind of sappy shit always pisses me off. Fuck your relationship. Seriously. You're an actress. Fucking do your job. It's ridiculous for anyone to throw away their career for some fly by night fleeting relationship that history has proven won't even fucking last based on the nature of the business.

The best part though is there are actually people on message boards applauding her for taking some sort of stand. Bullshit. It's not some convoluted moral issue. And it's not like she hasn't participated in sexualized storylines already. She did that Strip Poker horse shit last year. She had a "relationship" with Teddy Long. This whole issue seems to me to be that she just wants to go be with her boyfriend on RAW. That’s it. Stupid cunt.

I hate women like this. These are the same ones that love to refer to their boyfriend constantly to people who didn’t even know the douche-bag, and post shit like "I have the best boyfriend ever!!!!!" on their MySpace header. Of course followed up with fucking butt-ugly pics of the awkward motherfucker plastered all over their Myspace pics page, littered with captions like "I love you, baby!!!!!". God that shit makes my skin crawl.

If I ever get roped into a relationship like that, and you see a picture of me holding some fucking ugly cat with a heart collar with a goofy grin on my face, while her caption reads some shit like "The two men in my life!!!", KILL ME. Fucking just kill me. Because by then, like a Vampire on the turn, it's obviously too fucking late for me. Yup.

Booker Gone For Real.

WWE has come to terms on the release of WWE Superstar Booker T and WWE Diva Sharmell as of October 27. We wish both Booker & Sharmell the best in all their future endeavors.

It's a bit anticlimactic, given that for over a month now we've known that Booker was pissed off beyond all getout given that he was, you know, taken from Smackdown (where he arguably was the guy who carried the brand) and moved to Raw, where he was immediately fed to HHH after a half-assed feud with no build-up...despite the fact that Booker did some amazing work with Lawler. I guess the Dub needed to get the last word in (God FORBID he actually left on his own).

Excellence of Exiting.

We are still waiting for more details, but the word going around today is that Teddy Hart and World Wrestling Entertainment have parted ways. No idea of what caused Hart's departure yet, but it appears the entire planned Second Generation Hart Foundation angle has likely been scrapped as well.

The controversial and charismatic Hart signed a developmental deal several months ago and was competing in Florida Championship Wrestling as late as earlier this week with Hart, Nattie Neidhart, Harry Smith and Ted DiBiase Jr. as the new Hart Foundation. The new Harts had been expected to join the main WWE roster later this Fall.

Teddy Hart proves everyone right. I think there's a Target store in the Northeast that's hiring.

Torrie Wilson Fired.

It Is With Sorrow... That I have to write the following. It is with a heavy heart, I have to write that a WWE Star, nay, a WWE LEGEND is done with the company, needless to say, their contributions to the business are plentiful and amazing, the dedication to the wrestling business is simply astounding...

We'll miss you Torrie Wilson.

Daivari Released.

As noted before, Shawn "Khosrov" Daivari was officially granted his release from WWE earlier today. As it turns out, he actually asked for his release from the company for unspecified reasons a few weeks ago. WWE granted it, but they hadn't actually completed the paperwork until this week. He had been under contract to WWE since August 2004.

Daivari is featured in the main event of the most recent edition of WWE Heat. He wrestled Cody Rhodes in a losing effort. That was his last match with the company as he didn't go on WWE's tour of Europe this week.

I'm loving these releases with an already tiny roster. I guess Vince needs to clear some space up on the payroll to give a quarter of a million dollars to yet another RANDOM WORTHLESS WHORE.

I don't know about anyone else, but if Daivari tagged up with Shark Boy and resurrected the flying carpet senton, I'd watch iMPACT! every single week without question (well, at least that segment, anyway).

DDP will offer $500 and a thank you in person to anyone who can find his missing cat. His cat is in "joint custody" between him and his ex-wife.

"Whoever stole my Cat.. will feel the BANG!... of the justice system!"

The following press released was released this afternoon:

"HART NATION" REALITY TV SHOW STARRING THIRD GENERATION MEMBERS OF THE FIRST FAMILY OF WRESTLING IS CURRENTLY IN DEVELOPMENT NEW YORK CITY (OCTOBER 18, 2007) - "Hart Nation" is a reality tv show currently in development starring the ex-wife and children of the now >retired Canadian wrestling legend Bret "The Hitman" Hart.

"Hart Nation" stars ex-wife Julie Hart and children Blade (age 17) and Jade (age 24) with special appearances by Beans (age 19) and Dallas (age 23). Cameras follow the Hart family as they deal with the legacy of being a part of wrestling's royal family.

"The Hart family name is synonymous with professional wrestling. Because wrestling has been so good to the family, I feel compelled to give something back to our fans. I want to share my extraordinary family in their everyday endeavors in and out of the world of wrestling." - Julie Hart

The "Hart Nation" website is being created. In the meantime, please visit Julie Hart's website at www.juliehart.ca or her MySpace page: www.myspace.com/juliehart5.

Um... what's the point of a reality show with no one remotely famous in it? I mean, sure, if, say, Anvil slept in their garage and was always up to crazy madcap antics or if for the Thanksgiving episode, Uncle Teddy pays a visit and no-sells how hot the stuffing is then I'd be glad to watch. Bret's ex and dopey kids, not so much.

I like how the photographer very wisely had Beans stand a little to the left so that her rack could be seen, and he hid her sister... um... whasshername... uh... Prunes or whatever the fuck, behind that pig Julie...Also the kid on the end of the pic looks like there's a smidgeon of Runnels semen in the family tree.

Hey wait a fuckin minute. What kind of warped mother is all like HEY KIDS LETS STAND IN A ROOM WITH A FUCKING TIGER??!?

And this year’s Observer HOF class is… the Rock. But with 86% (!) of the vote, it’s obvious that no one else was going to touch him. And really, it’s well-deserved, because he helped resurrect the WWF from the dead and destroy WCW, drew some of the biggest numbers of all time, and created huge stars on his back. With all my other favorites dead, he’s my default favorite living wrestler, which is kind of a depressing honor, I guess.

www.poetv.com/?video.php??vid=21044

This is sadder than the pic of Virgil at a table with nobody waiting for an autograph.

Credit:
Wrestling Observer

Gail Kim's neckbreaker is called the Happy Ending. That's also the term used in Asian massage parlours for when the women masturbate their customers after giving them massages.

Thanks Dave!

Credit:
Franchise Fan Site

"Sorry to all of the Shane Douglas fans out there for the 24hr "rib", but I've decided to give a couple of wrestling "jouralists" a taste of their own medicine. I would like to thank Bruce Mitchell of pwtorch.com for proper journalism in reporting that I was released from TNA because of a relapse. I would also like to thank Wade Kellar for not checking Mitchell's facts as well. Sorry to say but the "sad" and "boring" truth is that I, Troy Martin, have had no relapse or taken any kind of drug or pill since my rehab last year. I have moved back home to New Brighton, PA where I am in the manager training program for Target and am enjoying life with my two sons, Conner and Caden. I do miss performing infront of the fans, but in no way, shape, or form do I miss the wrestling "business."

This was the best part added in as a comment by the guy who runs DOI.

It seems that Target is the hot spot for former ECW World Champions. There is no truth to the rumor that Steve Corino is retiring at the end of the year in order to pursue a heart warming & self-satisfying career at the red & white.

THOSE SHELVES WEREN'T JUST STOCKED OK, THEY WERENT JUST STOCKED WELL, THEY WERE STOCKED JUSTIN CREDIBLE!

And how does Douglas think that working for minimum wage at Target is LESS humiliating than falling off the wagon is beyond me. God bless, Shane. He can sell lawn furniture, work the till and stock shelves. He's a real Triple-threat. Ahem.

UPDATE: In his first abuse of power, Shane Douglas was seen this morning tearing up the application of Perry Saturn while shouting "karma's a bitch, retard!"

www.wwe.com/shows/ecw/articles/5617438/partnershipforming

It looks like WWE has officially deemed the ECW brand as a failure. Considering we see the same 9 guys on the ECW roster, it only makes sense to do this. Not that I'm defending a show I've only seen twice, but when a third of your roster consists of Miz, Big Daddy V and Boogeyman, it's time to mix it up. A lot.

Apparently ECW was going to be shown in its entirety on WWE.com, obviously foreshadowing it becoming EXTREME HEAT down the road. The best part? They were letting the FANS decide on what the show should be called.

So that said, I'll make a list of names for this show:

ECW "It only took Vince one year to run it out of business as opposed to Heyman's 7".

"ECW Sometimes we have more than 10 wrestlers. Sometimes".

ECW: "A New Breed Unleashed. Released."

ECW: "A show so bad people have killed their own families just to avoid working here."

Shawn Michaels vs. Billy Jack Haynes (World Class) 1/11/85

AWA Tag Team Championship Match: The Midnight Rockers vs. Buddy Rose & Doug Somers
AWA 2/10/87

AWA Tag Team Championship Match: The Midnight Rockers vs. Super Ninja & Ninja Go
AWA 6/12/87

The Rockers vs. The Brainbusters
MSG 1/23/89

WWE Tag Team Championship (2 out of 3 falls)
The Rockers vs. The Hart Foundation
October 1990

The Rockers vs. Orient Express
Royal Rumble 1/19/91

Those Panda Fuckers Intercontinental Champion Davey Boy Smith vs. Shawn Michaels
Saturday Night’s Main Event 11/8/92

Royal Rumble 1995 (Michaels enters at #1)

Those Panda Fuckers Intercontinental champion Jeff Jarrett vs. Shawn Michaels
In Your House 7/23/95

Those Panda Fuckers champion Shawn Michaels vs. Davey Boy Smith
King of the Ring 6/23/96

Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H
Raw 12/29/03

The Rockers vs. La Resistance
Raw 3/14/05

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle
Vengeance 6/26/05

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena
Raw 4/23/07

I’m all over this just because it’s FINALLY the first and only appearance of the infamous Phantom Title Switch on home video. And I believe Super NInja would be Keiji Mutoh. This looks like an awesome matchlist.

We're told that Tony Atlas and CM Punk had a verbal confrontation at the OVW taping on Tuesday night.

Atlas was apparently evaluating matches during the evening and approached Punk earlier in the day and told him that taping his hands and arms was "not the look the office wanted".

Punk came out during the taping with his hands and arms taped. Atlas was not happy that he didn't take his advice. After the show during a post-show meeting, Atlas made a speech about people with attitudes. He was staring at Punk the entire time. Punk finally lost it and asked Atlas why he was starting at him as he was giving his attitude speech.

The two exchanged words and Punk loudly asked Atlas, "Do you even watch our show? Do you even know who I am?"

You don't mess with SABA SIMBA!

wrestlingparties.com/wrestling-party-packages.html

This is a pretty damn cool idea, actually, although the current rep that wrestling has got might not leave many parents trusting a roided up former wrestler with their kids for two hours. Poor Lenny, though, reduced to booking birthday parties instead of his much more dignified position as gay tag team wrestler in WCW.

The Smackdown storyline about Teddy Long's viagra-induced heart attack at his wedding to Krystal Marshall has been in the works for several months. For whatever reason, Michael Hayes was the one who wanted to do an angle about viagra. This was originally meant to head in the following direction, which may be changed umpteen times but SPOILER ALERT nonetheless. It would be revealed that Krystal and Vickie Guerrero conspired to get rid of Teddy all along, getting his medical records, finding out about his heart condition and working in the viagra. This would then lead to Vickie double-crossing Krystal and firing her. Krystal would then move to Raw, which was planned several months ago when her real-life boyfriend, Bobby Lashley, had a lot of pull with Vince McMahon.

Now that he's out injured until December, that might change. Vickie would then be left as a heel General Manager and feud with Rey Mysterio, in what Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer dubbed a Hispanic and children friendly version of Vince/Austin. Another plan was to have Vickie start an on-screen relationship with a male wrestler on Smackdown, giving him preferential treatment and thus a lot of heel heat. Two names mentioned for that thankless role were Edge (due back by December at the latest) and Montel Vontavious Porter. Bear in mind that WWE has been changing a lot of storyline directions recently and none of this may actually come to pass.

Amid all this, the original plan was for Hornswoggle to be stripped of the Cruiserweight Title and then to have the title quietly retired. Again, this may have been altered since then.

Look for Mark Henry to be moved to Raw to feud with Triple H. Conversely, look for Umaga to be moved to Smackdown to feud with The Undertaker.

Oh yes, MVP getting Eddie Guerrero's sloppy seconds. That's just perfect. Oh, and Hornswoggle being the final Cruiserweight champ... I am fully convinced that Vince McMahon was once molested by a Cruiserweight. Then there's Michael Hayes' strange fascination with Viagra, which I'd prefer not to talk about.

Also, how the hell does one do a Latino Austin vs. McMahon!? Is Vickie going to revoke Rey's green card!?

Vickie: "Rey, I know you wanted to have a shot at the title."
Audience: "QUE?"
Vickie: "But I've decided that, after giving it some thought, I'm going to give it to MVP."
Audience: "QUE?"

Wash, rinse, repeat.

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. – WWE Champion John Cena has suffered a complete tear of his right pectoral tendon and is heading into surgery, according to noted orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Andrews. Because of the seriousness of the injury, WWE officials will not allow Cena to compete this Sunday at No Mercy, and he will have no choice but to surrender the title.

Dr. Andrews said Cena could miss between six and eight months of action. Cena was injured during his match with Mr. Kennedy Monday night on Raw. According to WWE physician Dr. Ferdinand Rios, Cena's injury was more serious than initially thought.

"He has a complete tear of his pectoralus major muscle," Rios said. "Because he’s so big, [the tendon tear] is behind the muscle. It was hard to diagnose."

Rios said Cena will be hospitalized for a few days to learn the rehabilitation procedure he must undergo. His arm will be immobilized for a week and then therapists may allow him to start moving it so that the arm doesn't become stiff.

Rios said that Cena is so dedicated to WWE that he wouldn't be surprised to see him return sooner than later.

"I suspect that John might be able to come back sooner [than most people with this injury], as he’ll train vigorously," Rios said.

Before visiting Dr. Andrews, Cena had said last night, “No matter how serious the injury, one way or another I’ll be ready to compete on Sunday.”

But despite Cena’s vow, WWE officials will not allow him to compete at No Mercy. Therefore, he must surrender the WWE Championship.

WWE officials vow that there will be a WWE Championship Match this Sunday at No Mercy and a new WWE Champion will be crowned.

Stay with WWE.com for further updates on Cena’s condition and on No Mercy as they become available.

Orton vs Snitzky WM24!! WOOOOOOO!

Over the last ten years, an inordinate number of wrestlers have passed away. Some of those deaths may in part have been caused by drugs and alcohol.

In an effort to prevent such tragedies in the future, the WWE is willing to pay for drug and/or alcohol rehabilitation at a certified treatment chosen by WWE for any performer with a prior WWE booking contract who may need this service.

The WWE will pay for this service in full. There is no cost to you or your family. Help will be provided regardless of the circumstances of your departure from the WWF or the amount of time you performed for the WWE.

If you do not have a drug and/or alcohol problem, but know you know a former WWE performer who does, we are asking you to try to help them by encouraging them to take advantage of this opportunity.

Liz Difabio has been appointed as a representative in this matter. Liz has been with the company for over 24 years and has been directly involved with the majority of WWE performers who have received treatment for substance abuse. She understands emotions that individuals and family members go through in this process. Any conversation you have with Liz will remain confidential and will not be released to the public.

In many instances, an individual in need of help is in denial and will not want rehabilitation. There are professional intervention companies that will help persuade that person that they need treatment. Liz will be able to facilitate such interventions, should they be necessary. An intervention and treatment will be at the cost of WWE exclusively.

This service is being provided for performers with a prior WWE booking contract only. No family or friends. Please reach out to Liz if you think you might have a drug or alcohol problem or if you know someone who does. We all need to do anything we can to help prevent another tragedy.

Sincerely,

Vincent K. McMahon

Chairman, World Wrestling Entertainment

A small list of other known wrestlers who went through a WWE-paid rehab program:

Bill Alphonso (still uses)
Eddie Guerrero (dead)
Brian Christopher (still uses)
Joey Mercury (got fired for drugs anyway)

Not a great success rate. They must be sending them to the rehab Lindsay & Britney went to.

And he said anyone with a booking contract, so if everyone booked for the first One Night Stand accepts, that would probably bankrupt the WWE.

Of course, if Jake the Snake accepts, he alone would bankrupt them.

HOLLYWOOD, FLORIDA

The New Porn Order has signed Former WWE wrestler Gangrel to a 12 movie exclusive directing deal. Gangrel, now officially known as The Vampire Warrior, will make his directorial debut with "Miami Rump Shakerz 2" set to be released in November. In addition to directing, he will also be making appearances as part of the NPO team.

"I am thrilled to be joining the New Porn Order and taking this step into a new level of my career. Directing offers a new challenge that I am very excited to be taking on. I look forward to the many great films that will come from this union." said The Vampire Warrior.

The Vampire Warrior Gangrel began his career in Florida, wrestling for various independent companies. In 1995 he went on to be a part of the ECW for a short period where he was noticed by the WWE. He signed a contract with the WWE and made his TV debut on Sunday Night Heat in August 1998. He was released from the WWF in 2001 and joined the NWA in 2002. The years since then have seen The Vampire Warrior bouncing back and forth between the WWE and the independent circuit. In January 2007 he was officially released from the WWE and is now looking forward to his directing debut with the NPO.

"We are very happy to have The Vampire Warrior Gangrel as part of the NPO team. We are confident that he will add a certain edge and uniqueness to films, and will quickly rise to the top of the most sought after directors" said Craig Valentine of the NPO. 'The Vampire Warrior Gangrel' will make his debut appearance as part of the NPO at the AEE/AVN Awards Show in Las Vegas, January 2008.

Maybe they'll fuck to his theme music.

So a man walks into a bar...

...and that man is Kurt Angle and he didn't wait between drinking a whole lot and driving

How great would that be? Assuming, of course, that AG doesn't wind up being a show with a bunch of men who are supposed to be something special but all they ever do is whine about everything. I'm looking at you, UFC.

Wonder how much they'll have to pay him to get on that show. Vince probably has to pay out the ass for Hogan to show up on a PPV and win.

WWE champion John Cena has been been nominated for a Nickelodeon UK Kids’ Choice Award in the Best Sports Personality category.

I wish HHH would of been a presenter at this show so he could put everyone to sleep with his dreaded 30 minute promos that go nowhere.